Frightened? Thoughtless? Or just plain rude?

Have you ever missed an appointment – just completely forgotten about it absorbed in something else? We’ve probably all forgotten something – maybe a dentist or hygienist appointment, probably something important but not vital.

But what about those people who miss doctors' and hospital appointments? Those people who have an illness or serious problem then don’t turn up to get it sorted? Do they make you mad?

But why don’t they turn up? Is it because they genuinely forgot (possible) or changed their mind (well surely they’d cancel beforehand) or were just frightened of the prospect of the process or the outcome? Sometimes we need courage to do the things that we know we need to do, don't we?

I was out with a friend the other night who was telling me about arranging a minor knee operation. She’d told the doctor her holiday dates and asked for the referral to the specialist to avoid those dates. When she got home from her holiday there was a letter waiting for her – for an appointment a few days earlier! When she rang the hospital to re-arrange she said they were very sharp with her as she had “missed” her appointment. So either they hadn’t read the doctor’s referral properly – or the doctor had forgotten to give the holiday dates! Either way my friend became “the one that misses appointments” and when she finally got to see the specialist this is what he said to her “oh yes, you’re the one who missed her appointment.” As you can imagine she was upset and annoyed at the inference! She certainly wasn’t one of those people who just doesn’t turn up!

Last week I had a client who just didn’t turn up. She needed the appointment in that she needed to change some of her habits. She even confirmed the appointment by returning a questionnaire to me. Then she just didn’t turn up. She left me with a 90 minute wasted space in my diary. Other clients are coming next week who could have come to solve their problems earlier if she’d have cancelled earlier. But who has really lost out here? She has. She may have just decided not to bother – yet she really needs to make changes. She may have been frightened of the process or the outcome. Either way she has lost the opportunity to change. And I find that sad. Don’t you?  Sometimes we do need courage to change things that need to be changed!

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The problem or the side effect? which is worse?

What's worse? The problem or the side effects of the drugs used to treat the problem?


I often see clients for stress, anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Most of them are already on a drug. But they're still suffering! A pain-killer will kill the pain but an anti-depressant won't kill the depression. It may cover it up; make it a bit easier to live with. But it won't cure it. You still have to find the "cure".

The listed side effects of many drugs may add to the feelings of depression – effects such as insomnia and weight gain, headaches and nausea.

So if you’re starting to get stressed or anxious - or if something has happened to you – or around you – that is affecting your wellbeing get help fast. First try relaxation CDs, yoga or if you enjoy it, go to the gym. Talk to a friend or trusted family members. Then look for a therapist. PAY. It will be worth it. Talk to your doctor about therapy – but go for the drugs last.

I can’t promise you anything – but hypnotherapy and NLP techniques are fast and effective. My clients will tell you their stories.
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Motivation to change (part 2)

So once you've decided to make changes in your life how do you keep motivated?

1.  Remember the pain
2. Get support
3. Make the future "the carrot" big and bright and very compelling.

How much money will you save?  How will you spend it - holidays? clothes? cars? houses? How much better will you feel?  What clothes will you be wearing?  What will you be doing? 

All of these "carrots" or "towards motivations" will keep you moving towards your goal - a happier, healthier YOU!